Struggles with substance abuse can make a person feel like they are isolated and trapped. The bigger question is how to respond when the going gets tough. Getting out of victim mode to boost recovery is often the only way to bring healing for the long haul.
Not Your Fault
Thinking this way is challenging because you end up putting blame for your circumstances on everyone else. If you off-load blame for chemical dependency on others, you end up playing the victim. It allows you to have control of others, avoid responsibility and growth, simply by justifying your behavior. It does not work forever. Eventually, your loved ones catch on. You’ll likely find yourself alone by doing this, which is a very isolating feeling.
If you want to break out of this role, it takes time, effort, and personal growth. It is possible but it needs to start with some simple steps.
- Step outside of yourself. As a victim, the default mode is self-centered thinking. When you think about how it affects you, or what you get out of it, you focus only on yourself and nobody else. Start thinking of others and consider how they feel. Moreover, consider how things impact them. Change the direction of your conversations so you ask for others’ thoughts and feelings, rather than always sharing your own.
- Shift the auto response. When someone asks how things are going, alter the negative self-talk and change your responses. Remind yourself of victories and focus on how you are doing well rather than the ongoing challenges.
- Accept responsibility. If you need to apologize for something, don’t add a ‘but’ on the end. Take responsibility for what you did. Own it and apologize. Make necessary amends and move on.
- Serve others. Stay focused on volunteering, sharing with others, and stepping outside yourself. Whether it is formal or casual, find ways to make an impact on others’ lives. Find a local church or spiritual center. Ask your family and friends how you can help them this week.
- Focus on long-term consequences. Victims are focused on short-term needs. This kind of thinking has to change. Start thinking about a longer term delay of gratification focus. This is a true sign of maturity in recovery. Delaying gratification results in a healthy response and experience as well as a better choice for a brighter long-term future.
Oceanfront will help you kick addiction to the curb with our premier beachfront community in Laguna Beach. We are founded on the principle of providing the best in care and services at affordable prices. We are located in beautiful Laguna Beach. Call us to find out how we can help you navigate addiction recovery: 877-279-1777