When a loved one is in recovery, you can feel like life just stops for a moment. The relationship may be familial, friendly, or an intimate partner but distrust and hurt can linger on both sides regardless of the type of relationship. Finding proactive steps to improve the relationship can really benefit both people, now and in the long run.
Trying to improve a relationship that has been toxic or unhealthy for a period of time may feel challenging to do but it is necessary if you are to find serenity and be at peace. Here are five things you can now that might help improve the relationship:
Repair of broken relationships harmed by substance abuse takes time. Get educated about addiction, the causes, triggers, and treatment. This will help you focus on what the other person is experiencing and why recovery is necessary. Be open to learning and accepting new things. Ultimately, you must learn to understand how the brain is involved in addiction. This will play a big part in building compassion for that person’s condition and situation, even in the midst of anger and other hurt feelings.
Relationships are all about communication. Unfortunately, your relationship probably feels so difficult because of the hurt suffered and it may be too soon to try and make amends. You will have to start somewhere and it often helps to be honest and tactful in communication regarding how you felt you were wronged and how you want to get back to a healthy relationship.
Patience is the only way through this. Otherwise, your high expectations can lead to disappointment. When the other person is ready, they will come to you and work to make amends. Consider your wants, desires, and goals for this relationship. A person in recovery moves at their own pace and sometimes you just need to accept it may not be what it once was, now, or even further down the road. Give it time to see where it goes.
When the loved one is recovering at home, be sure to welcome and congratulate them but give lots of space. It is a difficult time of transition for everyone. Years of hurt don’t evaporate overnight. Outside help is available for family, couples, and individual counseling to get through it.
Offer support to the recovering loved one. This does not mean surrender integrity, desires, or views. Go to support group meetings, recovery, and other places to get what you need. Honesty is key so you can rediscover what you value about them and acknowledge the challenges. Don’t expect perfection. Mistakes happen and it takes time to make amends. Stay focused on letting go of enabling behaviors and remain positive. If things are meant to improve, they will, but only if both parties are willing to make the effort.
Oceanfront cannot help you mend your broken relationship but we can help you start putting the pieces of your life together, one day at a time. It takes patience but we are here to help you every step of the way with our programs and services designed with you in mind. Call us to find out how we can help you get back to where you want to be in recovery. 877-279-1777