Human beings are notorious for finding ways to justify friendships, even when it makes no rational sense for them to do so. In fact, studies indicate that individuals are more apt to remain in toxic friendships than almost any other sort of human relationship there is (this includes family relationships, romantic relationships, and the like.) For many individuals that have suffered at the hands of toxic friends, there is little that can be done to convince them of the importance of ending the friendship. For those that have suffered from addiction, dependency, or chronic substance abuse with the support of such friends, however, the fact of the matter is that cutting ties is a necessity in recovery. One of the easiest ways to cut these friends off, particularly in the earliest stages of recovery, is to simply avoid them. This may seem harsh or unfair, but it is important to remember that immediately out of recovery, many victims of addiction are at their most vulnerable, and must work to stay away from triggers and things that could encourage them to use again. Being around the friends and associates that encouraged your substance abuse so soon after treatment could spell trouble for an individual that is not quite as strong as they need to be. After a while, if avoiding friends and colleagues is simply not an option, or you are confident in your ability to look past possible triggers, the best way to end a relationship is to avoid being overly sentimental, and to be as honest as possible. A friendship is not a romantic relationship in which the good times are tied to emotions, love, and the like. In fact, friendships are often a matter of proximity and association more than anything else. Keep this in mind, and refrain from letting the individual take you back to the early days of friendship. Every friendship has its good times, and it is human nature to attempt to isolate these times to make it seem like everything was just fine. The fact of the matter is that those “good times” were more than likely few and far between, while the toxicity was there consistently. In honesty, be as open as possible about why you have decided to end the friendship. Indicate that at your stage in life, you think it is important to surround yourself with people that do not remind you of your past addiction, and that while you will not be hanging around the person anymore, you do not hold any grudges or wish them anything other than the best. In order for that friendship to ever be reinstated, that friend would have to make a complete turn around, and truly help champion your recovery.
Removing toxic friends from your life is a must in recovery, but it’s quite hard to do that if you’re still addicted. Recovery starts with your mindset. Call Oceanfront Recovery at (877)279-1777 today, and change your life!