As a part of 12 Step recovery, we go through a process of facing the facts about our past conduct, no matter how ugly it may have been. Many of us caused harm in our past sex relations, and we must come to a point of recognizing how we hurt other people. We come to a point where we must reevaluate our conduct in regards to sex and relationships if we are to move forward in our recovery as positive, spiritual, and sober men and women. The 4th Step of 12 Step recovery is: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” In the 4th Step, we examine our resentments toward others, our fears, and our conduct in regards to sex relations. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous presents a series of questions to review when creating our sex inventory: “where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably around jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead?” We write all of these things down on paper so we can truly see the reality of our conduct. Afterwards, we shape a sane and sound sex ideal that we can grow towards in our sobriety. Everyone has different opinions and feelings about sex, so everyone’s ideals for their future sex life will be different. The important thing is that we remember sex is not to be used “lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.” In recovery, we are making an attempt to move away from actions driven by our selfishness, and we must extend this into our romantic lives. The Big Book further explains, “Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.” We may stumble at times, and we are all far from perfect, but the point is that we are willing to progress toward a spiritual life in sobriety.
You can change your story to one of hope, faith, and courage. Recovery is possible, and you can begin the journey toward permanent sobriety by making the decision to seek help today. Oceanfront Recovery, a treatment facility in beautiful Laguna Beach, is staffed with compassionate professionals dedicated to providing you all the tools necessary to achieve and maintain permanent sobriety. For more information about individualized treatment option, please call today: (877) 279-1777
