We all have past experiences that we are ashamed of. Our lives were hijacked by addiction and we become selfish and self-centered, caring little for anything except our next drink or drug. In the past, we may have harmed others, ruined relationships, or done any number of harmful things to others. We may find it helpful in our recovery to confront the mistakes we have made in the past and do our best to set them right. The only way to overcome the shame of our past is to confront our misdeeds and the harms we have caused others. In 12-step recovery, we make a list of all persons we have harmed and go through a process of making amends to them. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains, “We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.” We put our egos aside and honestly see where we have caused harm, then do our best to go to those we have harmed to set right the mistakes of our past. There are also those moments in our past when we felt wronged by others. We cannot see how we were at fault and we place the blame solely on the other person. In these cases, we focus on setting right our own mistakes, and remove the other person’s faults from the equation entirely. We stick to our own faults in the situation and set them right to the best of our ability. Our ability to forgive their faults and set right our own will keep us on track to living a life free of hatred and resentment so that we may be capable of being of service to others. As famed radio host Bernard Meltzer once said, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”
Your story can change into one of courage and redemption in sobriety. You can make the decision to seek help now and begin building a brighter future. Oceanfront Recovery, a treatment facility in the heart of beautiful Laguna Beach, offers a fluid and innovative approach to recovery that addresses the specific needs and unique challenges faced by each client. For information about individualized treatment options, please call today: (877) 279-1777
